Endless Serenade, Sept 26 '08

in this endless sea i sail

i cast my net into the gale

to see what fortune might avail

and perhaps one breezy night

in the garden you may sight

a nightingale in full delight

of my catch she will recite

a lovely song, a dream it seems

of purple morphs and blue lexemes

of minimal pairs on syntax trees

semantic groves and dots in threes

light and shade

its all been made

in this endless serenade

for those whose hearts are made of gold

the Midas touch, they do behold

the alchemy of Rumi's soul

and every heart they touch will glow

a shining beacon to and fro

so each can find their way at sea

and reach eternal Unity!

Slaves of Time, August 15 '08

I've been thinking lately of the concept of time and its importance in our lives and the way it affects us as we go about our daily business. Watching people move through the city, watching the changes as they happen, people getting older, events taking shape, the rise and fall of movements and other developments as human progress. Can we consider all this as a product of time?

What if we were to consider time as a concept created by our mind to maintain order? What on earth did we do before there were any clocks, calendars and ways to count the passing days. Why has time become such a pivotal aspect of our lives, in such a way that we have become slaves in this illusionary cobweb? We're always looking at the clock, racing against time to get things done, constantly worrying about the schedule and how we're going to find the time to do so and so, and whether there is enough time for such and such.

Time is a dimension that exists independent of space; therefore it is quite malleable and flexible. What if there was a way to slow it down?

It's all a matter of how we think of it. If we define the passing of time with the changing of seasons, and the alternation of day and night, we can come to an interesting conclusion. Nature is moving in a constant speed. But why is it that time always flies when you're having fun, and sometimes the minutes seem like hours when you're not having fun?

The time you spend with a favorite buddy or something you enjoy doing seems to fly by as if you just met, but on the contrary, you're sitting in class, in the last hour of a long day at school in an extremely boring subject and that minute hand seems as if it's dying from a stroke.

If time can be so malleable, then we can conclude our concept of time is a product of our mental perception. Therefore, we can actually change our perceptions to get time to work in our favor.

If we define progress as the amount of work done in a certain framework of time, and if we mentally define "time well spent" as good progress towards a certain goal, then that would mean we were working at peak efficiency in that time frame.

Our brains spend a ton of energy processing redundant information that fills up most of our day. If I were to give myself a score out of 10 for "progress" at the end of the day, it would probably be around 1 or lower. That day, like any other day, would have passed so quickly that I wouldn't even notice the weeks and months that have passed by in this fashion; until one day I look back, amazed at the little progress and the amount of time that has passed. That is scary, and that is a bitter reality for many of us.

So how do you regain control of this seemingly uncontrollable monster? One way is to get rid of all the clocks in your house and move to the Canary Islands, but that is not economically feasible for many. A more simple method is to change our perception and the way we think about time, by finding the most efficient way possible of doing work.

The most efficient way of doing work is to organize your mind and get rid of the clutter that fills up most of the day with useless information about the past, future, what should be, what could be and etc. This is easier said than done of course, but if the day would come when we would be strong enough to control our thoughts and channel our brain power into things that matter IN THE PRESENT, we would become the master of time. This by itself is the single most important tool of mankind in this day and age. It would free us of a lot shackles and chains we have inflicted on ourselves through erroneous mental software imposed on us from childhood.

Redefining God, August 8 '08

Ever since man set foot on the earth, his constant attempts at explaining the unexplainable has been a major preoccupation and by no means taken lightly. The distinguishable factor between man and beast has been his ability to think, create and question. Every era in the history of mankind has brought about a new enlightenment, a revolutionized way of thinking, and through this evolution of intellectual growth, we have come up with new definitions (based on our new findings) of God and the concept of such an entity.

This is not a history lesson so we're just going to skip right through the first hundred thousand years or so into the modern era where man's current concept of God is being questioned again. Is God still the great father sitting on his mighty throne giving orders? Is it a he? Is it a she? Is his role in our lives limited to forgiving our sins and judging the naughty and nice so to send some to heaven and throw a few in hell? Or is there more to this than we thought?

We've always known the ancient religions, prophets and saints have always used metaphors and similes to prove their point so the people of that time could understand them. But it seems as though the human race has reached a new level of intellectual growth and has developed an appetite that isn't satisfied with this metaphorical language anymore. We need something more tangible. New definitions for heaven, hell, sins, rewards, angels, the devil. A new definition of God.

Fortunately though, there are enough clues in the Holy Scriptures to point us in the right direction (if we're looking right) but is interpreted according to the reader's perceptual framework. But honestly though, how many of us can spare the time to search through these endless meanings and scriptures to find the truth? And how many of us really feel the need for a preacher to show us the meaning of life, when he himself cannot even practice what he preaches. Does classical religion still touch base with modern humanity, or do we need to appoint a new god to satisfy our taste for self approval or quench our thirst for knowing more?

People nowadays are looking for something more tangible, a new demand for more substance in life. I mean, is that all there is to life? To live a lousy 60 years and die into another world where you will be interrogated. Being sent to heaven if you were a 'good' person (with all the relative ambiguity of the word) where you will spend the rest of eternity grazing on lush grass and doing what you would've been doing on earth if you were a millionaire. Or even lucky enough to be sent to hell where you could 'suffer' the consequences of being at the wrong place at the wrong time!

Science and technology have advanced to new levels of integration. Humanity has almost exhausted all means of creativity when it comes to convenience at-your-fingertips. But have we really been able to understand ourselves? Or unlock the secrets of the universe? It seems as though we are sinking more and more into this quicksand of self-denial. We are moving ever closer to that breaking point where we just cant step outside our troubles, or pretend like it's not there.

All this talk seems too similar to philosophical bits where the guy blurbed out a sentence after a moment of enlightenment (which was to be christened on his epitaph for all eternity) while you have a bunch of on-the-shelf bookworms spitting out these 'enlightened' sentences they've memorized to those less-than-average and 'shallow' people who would marvel at such big complicated sentences, and each without really having the slightest clue as to what it would mean.

Why are we always intent on saying rather than being? Because it's always EASIER SAID THAN DONE. We always resolve on being better to others, loving more, understanding more, forgiving more, being less frustrated, be more loving, being more focused on what matters instead of dwelling on trivial issues, having time for those we love, having the heart to forgive ourselves, and a whole to-do list of items we plan on being but never actually achieving. And yet we never fail to find that phrase from that famous guy when it comes to preaching what is good unto others.

Is there something wrong with us as a race? Or is there something in the water? It seems as though God simply created us because he had nothing better to do. So what is his role in our lives if all we're doing is just going around in circles and hurting the planet and ourselves without really understanding why. Is there a defense mechanism that can help us get through this mess we are in, by giving us more understanding, opening our eyes to the world and whatever else it is that we want? Or do we just have to put up with things until a savior comes and makes all the bad things go away.

The first thing we need to do in this case is to find out where we came from, who we are and what we're doing on this "Plain Blue Dot" (google it, VERY interesting). But we cannot do this until we define God; but then, how do you define something that is immeasurable? You can't

What you can do however is achieve a tangible understanding of how the universe works simply by 'plugging in' to the same source or services that gave Jesus the touch to cure the blind and give life to the dead and etc. It's like a series of sockets, and all you have to do is plug in to any of them to receive that special service it provides. And it doesn't matter who you are, sinner or saint, believer or nonbeliever and etc, all you have to do is watch the process. (for more information, see "Faradarmani")

The general theory of this practice is that human beings are infinitely vast in existence and each individual contains the blueprint of the universe. Therefore, when something goes wrong (physically, mentally, spiritually, emotionally…) there are an infinite number of levels you must examine to identify the cause and fix it. So we're much more than simply a pile of meat and bones and we're definitely not alone, but part of a universe that is a living, conscious entity, and each part is intricately connected and infinitely vast.

Plugging into the universe allows us to open vast new frontiers in our quest for the truth; it gives us the opportunity to see ourselves for what we truly are and the ability to redefine all previous standards and limitations, leading us to the source of all this magnificence and grandeur. Thus, redefining God.

By Mohammad Amini

the mind virus, feb 15 '08

How do you measure the potency of a seemingly harmless thought? Just think of it as the kind of virulent string of information that could cripple a cybernetic infrastructure the size of a country. A simple infection of a node in the system, if not taken care of, could logarithmically multiply within moments to wreck havoc on the entire system, eventually bringing the backbone to its knees.

This kind of behavior can be seen in the danger presented by viruses, electronic or biological. Intelligent organisms that infiltrate the management of a system and feeding it redundant information until it succumbs to their will. This notion can be applied and experimented in biology and electronics, but how about our thoughts? The idea was first mentioned by the evolutionary biologist Richard Dawkins in 1976 when he related cultural and social trends to a term he called the "meme", a theoretical block of cultural information which spreads through diffusion propagating from one mind to another. Richard Dawkins saw this as more of an evolutionary organism that multiplies given the right circumstances, to create a new cultural/social trend.

But this theory is too broad for the discussion and its horizons are too general for the topic of "mind viruses". A meme could be anything from a tune, a catch phrase, a clothing fashion and etc, but a virus is an intelligent organism that multiplies within its host to gain control of the central nervous system. The discussion here is much more personal and in-your-face than the memeplex analogy of an evolutionary mechanism.

The mind virus is a virulent string of redundant information that integrates itself within the central command, feeding it false information until it acquires complete control over the faculties of the person, guiding it in every which way it wants. Picture yourself driving down a relatively empty country road during the day, you're running a small errand to the post office in town. As your autonomic drive is guiding the car through the curves and obstacles of the road, your mind is seemingly idle, or is it? The human mind is the most active part of the human body, the brain is an organ that never sleeps, it is constantly evaluating, measuring, imagining, interpreting and relaying information to the nervous system and other organs of the body. Your brain functions to psycho-analyze daily events even while you are asleep. Could such an intelligent system be susceptible to an infiltration by a backdoor Trojan or a malicious virus? Definitely.

As you are driving down that road, a million different thoughts are traversing through your mind begging for attention. How much of probability would you give that any one of those thoughts could be a mind virus, a seemingly harmless file waiting to be opened? In the average person, I could easily estimate a good 95% of those thoughts are mind viruses, but each has its own threat level. One is a harmless breeze of a memory of yesterday's encounter with your father, and another is a Trojan horse packed in a foolproof disguise of the memory of a quarrel with your fiancé which can have detrimental effects if opened and analyzed. This information comes in the form of an emotional attachment which demands your undivided attention and once it is acquired, it begins to unpack a string of poisonous and redundant data that could prove very damaging. The memory of the quarrel ignites a series of emotional flashes of anger, resentment and detest, taking you away on an emotional rollercoaster ride through irrational rationalities of how she was probably lying to trick you, or that she was cheating on you and other redundant series of information that could prove detrimental to your health and the health of those around you. Once it has successfully gained access to your central command, this virus then begins to proliferate madly, eventually gaining full access to the central core of the processing unit, replacing itself as your own perceptions. Once it has done this, you begin to think, walk and talk the virus, thinking it is you. It alters your perceptions of reality and shapes your worldview according to its own programmed software and before you know it, you have become the virus!

Sometimes one single powerful virus gains control of the central processing unit, shaping the behavior of its host, feeding it redundant information and molding its elementary components in its own image. And sometimes, just like a computer with no antivirus, the person is infected with a plethora of viruses that have each gained access to a part of the system's components, each one giving its own orders. This is a highly contaminated system that is inefficient in every way and could lead to some very tragic results. Highly contaminated people are so distorted that they usually don't know which way is what? This distortion leads to the mind-disease called depression and eventually followed by a host of other mental, physical and psychological disorders.

A mind virus can only be successful if it is not recognized by the antivirus software of the mind, the rationality filter. But this filter isn't always online; the best time a mind virus can infiltrate the system is when there is a system override and the filter is temporarily shut down during emotional outbursts of anger, fear, trauma, sadness, depression and etc. It has been largely recognized that these emotional bursts are unhealthy to the system, no matter how big or small, and once the damage is done and the virus has infiltrated the system, it could be impossible to wipe it out or identify the data as an alien string. The virus then immediately goes to work during the emotional phase, to latch itself on the system as a legitimate system file.

You arrive home and your fiancé has noticed that you forgot to buy milk on the way. Keep in mind that the virus has already made a run through your mind with irrational accusations and claims so it creates a background for a potential threat of another emotional outburst. A normal conversation suddenly turns sour and there is a system override on the rational filter as the emotional outburst of anger kicks in to "control" the situation. But what it has actually done is that it has opened a critical port for the virus to come in stronger than before and fortify its legitimacy. So what happens now is that when the fight is over, instead of forgetting about it, you become more trusting of this string of data and allow it to flourish in your system. As it gains more ground, it triggers more system overrides of anger, resentment, fear, sadness, depression and etc, allowing itself to gain access to vital resources within the system.

A successful mind virus establishes itself as rationality. It carefully analyzes the weak points of the system and tweaks itself to fit into the mental structure of the host. It could be anything from a philosopher, to a scientist, a dreamer, an economist, a socialist, communist, capitalist, fundamentalist etc. Once it has convinced its host of its legitimacy, it then sets off to build its own rational framework, carefully tailoring it to the measurements of its host, but making sure it ultimately gets its own way in the end. This doesn't mean that emotional people are more contaminated than rational people, we all have our moments of soap drama; emotional people could be less infected than the gaudy rational who could be a walking virus within his own rational guidelines dictated by the virus.

In the end, no one is 100 percent clean of mind viruses, but the variation in contamination levels, and susceptibility to fall prey to redundant information is what determines our aptitude to be good or bad hosts for these intelligent cyber-organisms. This was a very short introduction on the concept of "mind viruses" and their mechanism of infiltration, but it will suffice for now.

cave man, january 27 '08

Ah yes… life, that great river of turmoil, the current that sweeps you off your feet and pulls you downstream into the abyss of the inevitable whirlpool of social avarice, the slaughterhouse of the spineless masses, the crap-storm of social contracts: wear this, behave so, do such, say that, hate him, love her, despise them, glorify thee, worship thy, go there, stay here, bla bla bla bla…

Sometimes it gets so frustrating you don't know who is what, what is where, where is when??!! For those of you who don't know me yet, and you might've picked up from my writings, I'm an idealist, not a realist. I live my life according to what I believe is right, even if the whole world says it's wrong. This doesn't mean that I don't participate in society, or disagree with everyone, or purposely laugh at funerals; it simply means that the decisions I make for myself are based on my own home-grown moral standards, not that dictated by society. Many of us don't know this but it is a fact of real life, much of the decisions we make are dictated and forced upon us like education and family. Just like how you don't choose what to learn, or who you live with, you don't choose your destiny because society has already done that for you.

Unconditional obedience has a lot to do with personal resolve; the less you are determined to achieve an autonomous state of mind, the more dictators you will find at your doorstep, wanting to control your resources. As the saying goes, life is like the game of chess: if you don't know how to play, people are always trying to teach you; but once you learn the rules, others are always trying to beat you.

There are always people wanting to mindlessly attach themselves to some kind of a belief, an idol, an ISM: communism, capitalism, existentialism, transcendentalism, theism, atheism, and they eat whatever crap you feed them so they could feel better about themselves, so they could identify with a herd of society, so someone else does all the thinking for them. I don't buy that.

Most of the time, it's easy to stick your head in the sand and just go with the flow, jump on the bandwagon, walk the walk and talk the talk, but the trend is so overwhelming, any sane person would gladly trade-in his sanity for "what the guy next to him is having" without having to think twice about the choice he just made.

When I feel the pressures of society the most, is when I retreat to my cave. When I feel as if I've lost my grip on life, as if I'm going nowhere fast, when life is carrying me away, as if I've fallen into the current of my own delusionary state of being where I have pre-occupied myself with useless thoughts, unrealistic goals, illusionary ideals and shallow beliefs, is when I fall back on my cave. My cave is a place where I am alone with myself, a place where I shut out the noises of the world and dig deep inside and re-discover my roots, re-organize my game plan and re-boot my hard drive. It's the only way I can stay sane. Others use drugs and alcohol to subdue these feelings, but unless you don't face your monster, you will never be able to tame it. You can call me a realist in the sense that I face the reality of what I am, but an idealist in the sense that I choose integrity over hypocrisy [did I mention how much I hate ISMs?!]. I understand the social implications of all this cave-business, and I have paid the price, but I personally think it is necessary.

When I retreat to my cave, all communications are temporarily put on standby. It's not something I enjoy doing but it's something that has to be done. This kind of antisocial behavior might be seen as an attempt to escape the realities of life, but in fact, as argued above, it is exactly the opposite. You can seek help from friends, spend endless hours talking about your problems to a shrink [who's also on the same medication], but unless you don't face the reality of what you are by your self, not even Jesus himself can help you.

Here comes the scary part: not even YOU can help you. Human beings are so complex and intricately designed that even if you spend all of eternity thinking about yourself and trying to fix your problems, there will always be something missing. The inter-connectedness of the universe is so complex, that every time you try to fix something, another part goes broke. So what's the point of fixing it if it keeps on breaking? Try hanging on is one part of the solution, but the main solution to this problem is simple in practice yet complex in theory [this is not an endorsement of suicide]. The concept of an inter-universal intelligence is the key to understanding the healing process of our deepest issues.

diversified quantity, january 15 '08

While waiting for the bus (wonderful things happen at bus stops), as watching the flow of traffic move on the expressway, with all those different models of cars, different people riding them, each trying to make his/her own statement in his/her own peculiar way, I fell into a rolling thought that had bothered me for days in the past week, and had gained momentum as I moved closer to the day I quit my job. As this thought played through my head, I began to realize how we give too much value to quantity, how monotonous we have become, the diverse, yet superficial and distasteful quality of our hopes and dreams, and finally: where we were in the past, where we are in the present and where we will end up in the future if these trends follow the same pattern. We live in a world of diversified quantity, a world where numbers rule the charts on people's minds, a world where everything is taken at face value, a world where products have lost their authentic value and have given way to a new market of mass production of duplicates, cheap imitations and flashy gimmicks: a mass genocide of value.

There used to be a time when you were certain of the quality of the brand you bought, and things had a unique quality back then. There was a time when the particular car you bought had style, character, and made a statement about the driver: the heavy duty pickup was for the working man, the fuel-efficient Japanese was for the economic Joe, the family van was for the family guy, the sports car was for the young and restless, the luxury was for the rich and retired. The same goes for any type of consumer good including apparel, electronics, furniture, kitchenware, food and the list goes on… there were the few well-recognized giant name brands that produced quality products but as we approached the age of global markets and mass production, these names started to lose their meaning. Soon, everyone got into the game and before we new it, they were pumping out duplicate brands with the same name but no quality, duplicate products with new names that looked better than the original but didn't work half as much with half the price and less than half the value. Cars, cell phones and beepers became a mass produced commodity and before you knew it, everyone was able to buy that sleek new ride, the brand new cell phone and wear that beautiful alloy necklace that looked just like the real thing! This phenomenon has even affected the fields of science and knowledge, with more people getting into universities and receiving degrees, and more universities and educational institutions popping up here and there for profit, it has become easier to get an education and claim to be a doctor or engineer; nowadays, there are so many phonies that one can't trust one's own education anymore.

Now there are so many name brands and consumer goods that you can't tell the difference between that alloy necklace and the 24 karat original model. A product that people used to attach so much meaning to, suddenly became meaningless, as if even gold cannot be trusted anymore to give the owner a high self image built on the social paradigm of gold as a statement of power, class and wealth. When the image of their products lost its power, they then started patenting and commercializing anything they could get their hands on to make a meager profit. They began commercializing our colors (Pepsi Blue?!), our water (bottled "spring" water), even beauty has been commercialized into a typical physique which lures people to conducting plastic surgery by cheap doctors to help them look like Jennifer Lopez, and even wars are now commercialized by "war companies" (the Iraq war). What happened to our world?

What happened to the open blue sky and the running meadows with that endless horizon? Why can't we even trust the water we drink, the very basic element, the very blood in the veins of life, and have to turn to some bogus company with a phony name to give us "pure", "spring" water from the heights of the earth? Why have we become so alien to our surroundings and ourselves? Why can't we tell the difference between a real apple and a genetically modified one? Why can't we find satisfaction in that same old gold watch?

Why?

Because we know someone else can work half as much, and buy the duplicate brand for half the value and cost and no one can tell the difference between the original and the imitation. Because we realized that the same watch which was made by a qualified and experienced craftsman and guaranteed lifelong service could now be effortlessly made by a lifeless machine in a fraction of the time using less expensive material and sold for a fraction of the price. Because what we used to confide in, the material possessions we so cherished have lost their meaning in the face of technology and diversified quantity. Because the unique characteristics of people, the bonding factor that pulled us together suddenly pushed us apart, as we realized we were all becoming duplicates, cheap imitations of one another and even cheaper movie stars and shallow role models and desperately try to cover up our uniqueness by getting a nose-job or going through life-threatening liposuction. We now face a society of faceless, lifeless zombies, all wearing the same brands all driving the same cars, all listening to the same loud music, all running for the same goals, all giving empty promises to one-another (because we know the duplicate always exists… in mass quantity). A world in which artists must exploit the nadir of human sexuality to sell their work, where cheap broads with no musical/artistic talent dance across the stage and sell their albums in the millions simply because of their sex appeal.

It has become increasingly hard to differentiate the good from the bad in these times; the quality is lost within the diversity of quantity. Unfortunately, this trend will continue to get worst as the competition between names and consumer goods heats up, each claiming they're the real deal, when even the old names have turned to the new tricks and hooks of attracting customers with showy, flashy products that deliver only half the promise. Fortunately though, in this circus of chaos that has given our earth the worthy name of the "Insane Asylum of the Universe", there is an emerging order, a harsh reality that will slap us hard in the face if we haven't woken up already.

It has been said that within a few years time, we will reach the limit of our capacity to eat crap. In other words: the upheaval of modern cultures, the tremendous movement of technology around the globe, the revolutions in physics, archeology, linguistics, and all of these things which are acting to complexify our world will reach a focal point of density in time to characterize a new definition of the relationship between man and nature. After the time we have realized that art, science, idolatry, consumerism and etc, have failed to deliver their countless promises, we will shed the old skin of quantitative values to discover the unique qualities hidden beneath each flower pedal, behind each sunrise, within each dew drop and beyond the reach of our wildest imaginations through the eternal expanse of the human soul. It is then we will learn the direct connection between our suffering, misery and disease with our own perceptual framework; we will learn to heal the worst illnesses with a single glance; we will feel the presence of the Universal Consciousness (the intelligent order throughout the universe); we will understand the unified structure of our world by feeling the strong bond of attraction between our body, a distant star and a molded clay pot; and finally, instead of wandering through the chaos of diversified quantity, we will be immersed in the intense connection of the Unified Quality of Existence.

bad things happen to good people, july 10 '08

Why do we suffer in this world? What is pain? Why do bad things always happen to good people?

Actually, it happens to everyone; it's all relative to their situation and personal condition.

Are earthquakes good or bad? An earthquake hits a town and kills thousands of people leaving a heap of chaos and destruction. It's also a part in the cycle of the eco-system, a function of plate tectonics that creates mountains, oceans, volcanoes and etc.

Are volcanoes good or bad? You can't really say because from one aspect, they tend to destroy anything within a 50 km radius with rivers of lava and plumes of ash that cover the sun's rays, destroy vegetation and leave a trail of destruction behind. But this process is also a function of the eco-system which creates new islands, mountains, and the ashes of which help nourish the soil which is better for new vegetation and reforestation.

Rat poison is deadly when eaten, but arsenic used in rat poison is used in some medicines like Arsphenamine to treat syphilis.

So good and evil is all relative to your perspective.

But let's dive deeper into this idea. Let's talk about human suffering: disease, famine, loss of a loved one, war, divorce, disputes, conflicts, depression, anxiety, failure, fear, etc. What mechanism is there that determines who gets what, who gets a bigger share of the wealth pie, who will become the next president, who will live on the street, who will die in a car accident in his twenties and the race car driver who will live to be a hundred and twenty?

One thing that is definitely obvious is that we can't predict the future, but we can alter it. By changing the way we look at things. Instead of thinking on terms of loss and failure, we can change our perspective to even see death as a celebration. Another thing that is certain is that none of this was an accident and we're right on track, like it or not.

The universe is run by an Intelligent Consciousness that determines who gets what, based on each person's personally installed and configured software. It's like climbing a mountain versus a walk in the park. The more determined you are to reach the top, the more obstacles you will face than the person who prefers to bask on the beach.

But the weird part is, pain and suffering happens to everyone, young or old, rich or poor. Who says rich people don't have problems? Who says people living in one part of the world are better off than those who live in other parts? First of all, it must be said that wealth distribution is fluid and it moves throughout societies and goes hand in hand; one day you're picking your dinner out of a trash can and the other day you're getting a thousand dollar manicure for the evening's cocktail party, and vise versa (these extremes are especially true for the ambitious mountain climbers). Secondly, who says that being filthy rich relieves you of all the problems in the world? We all face the same amount of trouble, regardless of race, gender, class or age. The rich always has to worry about keeping his money, where to invest it, how to protect it, or perhaps he has a deadly form of cancer, or he's the depressed kind, or his kid is a socially dysfunctional lunatic or etc (lifestyles of the rich and the famous?!). While the poor guy has to worry about tomorrow's grub, or the future of his children, or the delayed rent, or fixing the hole in the roof, or etc. It doesn't matter who you are or where you live, it all depends on how you look at things. A hole in the roof can be a problem, or it can be the key which helps you develop your talent in "roof-hole-fixing" and making a small business out of it.

EVERYONE has to face some kind of suffering and if they tell you they don't, they're either lying or they've got an extremely rich insight. Either way, this is the foundational idea. The truth is put very well by this famous phrase: "life is a mountain, not a beach!"

We're not here on a vacation; we're on a journey on the way to the top. Like it or not, it's a road we all go down, and it's a peak we will all eventually reach, sooner or later. Life is an experience we all have to discover, and even the slowest of us must go through enough suffering to eventually reach this summit. Pain and suffering is part of the experience. It's a wake up call to those who are asleep and just another hurdle for those training for the race.

"No guts, no glory" or "no pain, no gain"... and as the story of life moves on, we will all live to discover the beauty behind the gore.

You must study hard to gain a degree from the top university, which is simple enough for us all to understand; but this riddle takes on another painful dimension when we are diagnosed with a deadly disease.

"Why me?" "what did I do wrong?" we always tend to ask when we are hit with such terrifying news. And thus brings us to the next most powerful lesson to be learned: bodily malfunctions are wake up calls, it's a tool used by the living organism to knock sense into its unwary owner. It's the manifestation of an awakening consciousness of the body protesting against the foul foundations of human lifestyle and even perceptions. This is another discussion which is deeply connected to the topic: Cell Consciousness and its connection to the way we see the world.

my aunt died, may 28 '06

It's May 28^th, my aunt died on Tuesday afternoon on May 24^th last week. She was 44 years old and she was another victim of cancer.

It all began with breast cancer 4 years ago when doctors detected a tumor in her left breast. By then it was too late, the cancer cells had already began their work in her system with a 60% blood ratio. By the time the doctors removed her left breast, the cancer had metastasized into the other parts of her body. She fought the disease with high hopes for four years, but finally succumbed to the fate of almost all cancer patients and submitted her soul to the Benevolent.

I write this in her memory, for she was a loving mother who valued her children above all else, even her own life, and sacrificed herself for her family.

Her name was Zahra, and her attitude was synonymous with her name which she shares with the daughter of Prophet Muhammad (p), Lady Fatima Az-Zahra. She always had a smile on her face, and I can never remember a time when she would get angry at someone. Even with the way she was treated by her relatives, the insults she handled, the difficulties she endured because of a few jealous individuals gave her the wings she took to soar into the heavens. My aunt Zahra could've had a better life than this, but she chose to sacrifice it all for her children, and tolerate the pains of bitter insults and lies so that she could raise her children to be effective contributors to the society, and I'm proud of her.

The day I stood at her bed in the hospital in Esfahan and witnessed her heart coming to a complete halt, I thanked God with all my heart, because she was finally free of the misery and the pain. I was with her all the way to the morgue, through the graveyard, and I never shed a single tear, because I knew she was happy.

The world has a strange way of showing us how small and insignificant we are in some ways and how we dont know what we are doing. During times of difficulty, we blame everything on the weather, on other people, everything but ourselves and we never get to see the other side of the coin because we are so busy blaming others. During times of blessing, we become proud and arrogant and lose all sense of reality of the fact that no matter how hard we tried to gain this power, we can lose it all in a heartbeat (or the lack of one).

Humans are strange creatures, often forgetful and much ungrateful. We strive our whole lives, working for short-lived dreams and long-lost identities. Our bodies are sensitive and often durable systems. They can endure the harshest conditions but can lose it all with a stroke or a breath not taken. They work at a stable 37 degrees, but completely deteriorate when this temperature goes one degree above or below the prescribed value. The funny thing is, we spend a lifetime trying to keep this body happy and comfortable, even at the expense of others if necessary, and never do we spend the time to reflect on our own true identity and what we have contributed for the betterment of mankind. And once this body goes, we go with it. All our dreams, all our goals, all our beliefs, and we are left with one thing and one thing only, our deeds. For others, it's the memories and for us, its our actions. Even if we owned the world, the only material thing we are left with when we die is a simple coffin six feet under. And not even that is left when we are decomposed and turn into food and nutrients for plants. And the circle of life continues. If this is the final destination of all humans, then shouldn't we strive to give a little more while we have the strength to? Instead of just taking and backbiting, lying, cheating and hating?

There's an Italian proverb that says: At the end of a chess game, the king and the soldier are all thrown in one box. Alexander of Macedonia (I refrain from calling him "the great" because of his viscious attitude and also the fact that he nearly destroyed all of our knowledge and culture by burning down our libraries and universities) left a will before he died, in which he asked his friends to keep his hand outside his coffin for all to see the great Alexander who conquered half the world left empty handed.

We were meant for more than this how can the result of 70 years of living on this earth be a piece of dirt under the ground? Life has more than material value to it, and those who try to confine humanity within the prison bars of material constants have gravely forsaken the worth of man and have thrown it down into the carnal abyss of animalistic anomalies.

birthday thought, may 2 2006

osh... i just celebrated my 22nd birthday today.
i had no idea it was coming, it took me completely by surprise. i flicked on the radio on my way to university this morning and it announced the date: "May 1st, 2006".. may first??? i thought. it sounded awfully familiar! i searched through the files in my head and it so happened that the neurons associated with that date were linked to a notion called "birthday"!!! wow, what a surprise... i really got a kick out of that.
what is "birthday"? well, when we were young, they designated a certain day every year to hold a party in our favour, and invite people and give us presents and gifts and eat cake and wear cone-shaped party hats and pinatas and bla bla bla... claiming we came screaming into this world on this particular day... as we got older, it seemed to make less sense to us.

anyway, this is just a birthday thought. a contemplation on the 22nd anniversary of my birth:
as the party dies down, people start to leave... i get a disturbing feeling in my gut... no it wasn't the melted candle wax on the cake... it was worst, a lot worst:
i've come a long way since childhood and adolescence and have learned quite a bit about life. a birthday is a time of contemplation. it's a time when u actually see the ficticious numbers add up to your life, and the candle whick burning down thru those numbers on the cake, burning away at your life, ringing a warning signal screaming: "WAKE UP!!!!"
"quit daydreaming!!" and "get on with your life!!!"
stop thinking about how things "should be" and start your life right now and throw the should's and would's and could's down the trash and turn your life into a "BE".
life is one big adventure ride, nothing should be taken seriously enough to deserve a standing thought. events come and go, people come and go, only the memories stay.
moments pass by while memories linger, and i would give my life and soul, just so that the moments linger and memories pass by.
living in the moment is a beautiful notion, a lot easier said than done. once i put these thoughts into practice, i know i will be able to actually 'live'.

gosh...twenty two years? two decades i've been aimlessly roaming this earth? and what have i given back? have i been so out of touch? so pre-occupied with meaningless metaphors of existence that i have forgotten how to breathe? where are the fruits of those feelings?
i dont care anymore. i found my purpose, and i will keep on evolving until the day comes when i have to say goodbye to this temporary abode. i just hope to God i dont leave with the same gut feeling i had on my 22nd birthday, cuz that would really suck. and if i were to leave in that condition, i pray that He take me right now before it gets any worst.

i celebrate my birthday for having the privilage to exist and experience life in this world; and i hold a vigil for the years, months, weeks, days, hours, minutes and seconds i've wasted for the life i've been given, and vow that it shall improve from this very second.

so off i go, doing something useful... sleep.
goodnight

mohammad

Early one morning I heard an angelic chime
Bringing news of a loving and joyous clime
Pursuit of the unimportant is the worst crime
Live in joy & love before the end of your time.

eternal immortality, may 2 2006

e t e r n a l ^ i m m o r t a l i t y

i worship the truth that is higher than any reality.

the aspiration of my spirit is higher than the highest star.

the eyes of my sight are broader than the horizon.

my love is deeper than the deepest shades of black.

my thoughts more eternal than the universe.

the freedom of my destiny is sweeter than the purest honey, because i am damned to choose between love and hate.

the load of responsibility on my shoulders is enough to crush mountains to cinders, because i chose to love.

my love is unconditional in nature, simple in concept and pure in passion.

i think logically, and act with passion.

i am a soldier of the truth.

the 'truth' lies beyond our mortal reach.

i am my own enemy.

my biggest sin is fear, and the best gift is forgiveness.

knowledge is my weapon of choice and i lay attack on ignorance where ever it may be.

because ignorance brings all that is evil.

therefore i strive to 'know', that way i am insured against myself.

i tell my secrets to the sunrise, and my thoughts vanish along with the sunset.

my source of energy is from none but the Almighty, and unto Him we shall return....


peace
mohammad

order~chaos