i had no idea it was coming, it took me completely by surprise. i flicked on the radio on my way to university this morning and it announced the date: "May 1st, 2006".. may first??? i thought. it sounded awfully familiar! i searched through the files in my head and it so happened that the neurons associated with that date were linked to a notion called "birthday"!!! wow, what a surprise... i really got a kick out of that.
what is "birthday"? well, when we were young, they designated a certain day every year to hold a party in our favour, and invite people and give us presents and gifts and eat cake and wear cone-shaped party hats and pinatas and bla bla bla... claiming we came screaming into this world on this particular day... as we got older, it seemed to make less sense to us.
anyway, this is just a birthday thought. a contemplation on the 22nd anniversary of my birth:
as the party dies down, people start to leave... i get a disturbing feeling in my gut... no it wasn't the melted candle wax on the cake... it was worst, a lot worst:
i've come a long way since childhood and adolescence and have learned quite a bit about life. a birthday is a time of contemplation. it's a time when u actually see the ficticious numbers add up to your life, and the candle whick burning down thru those numbers on the cake, burning away at your life, ringing a warning signal screaming: "WAKE UP!!!!"
"quit daydreaming!!" and "get on with your life!!!"
stop thinking about how things "should be" and start your life right now and throw the should's and would's and could's down the trash and turn your life into a "BE".
life is one big adventure ride, nothing should be taken seriously enough to deserve a standing thought. events come and go, people come and go, only the memories stay.
moments pass by while memories linger, and i would give my life and soul, just so that the moments linger and memories pass by.
living in the moment is a beautiful notion, a lot easier said than done. once i put these thoughts into practice, i know i will be able to actually 'live'.
gosh...twenty two years? two decades i've been aimlessly roaming this earth? and what have i given back? have i been so out of touch? so pre-occupied with meaningless metaphors of existence that i have forgotten how to breathe? where are the fruits of those feelings?
i dont care anymore. i found my purpose, and i will keep on evolving until the day comes when i have to say goodbye to this temporary abode. i just hope to God i dont leave with the same gut feeling i had on my 22nd birthday, cuz that would really suck. and if i were to leave in that condition, i pray that He take me right now before it gets any worst.
i celebrate my birthday for having the privilage to exist and experience life in this world; and i hold a vigil for the years, months, weeks, days, hours, minutes and seconds i've wasted for the life i've been given, and vow that it shall improve from this very second.
so off i go, doing something useful... sleep.
goodnight
mohammad
Early one morning I heard an angelic chime
Bringing news of a loving and joyous clime
Pursuit of the unimportant is the worst crime
Live in joy & love before the end of your time.
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